Surrogacy
Surrogacy is when another women becomes pregnant with your partner’s sperm and carries the baby until it is born. She may use her own eggs, or eggs donated by the other woman through the IVF process. At birth the baby should be handed over to the father and his partner. When the child is 6 weeks old, the father and new mother apply to the court for a Parental Order. The Court appoints a guardian ad litem (court welfare officer) to interview the prospective parents and to recommend for or against the parental order being granted. If granted, the child is then legally the child of the marriage.
Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy (COTS) is an agency that aims to match surrogates with commissioning couples. COTS stresses the importance of feeling absolutely comfortable with your surrogate before you decide to go ahead and of maintaining good communication throughout the process of trying to conceive and pregnancy. It is important for the commissioning couple and any potential surrogate to express their preferences and requirements about all aspects of their relationship and the pregnancy.
Commissioning couples may feel anxious about receiving the baby at the end of the pregnancy. Do remember the risks and anxieties which the surrogate may have - illness in pregnancy, the commissioning couple abandoning the pregnancy or baby, etc. - the relationship must be built on trust and good communication, and a real appreciation of what the surrogate is doing for you. The commissioning couple are often closely involved with the surrogate during the pregnancy, speaking and visiting with her regularly and attending medical appointments, as well as the birth.
Surrogacy is becoming more common and better understood by the general public, although it can still provoke some hostile responses and concerns about whether the surrogate mother will give up the baby when it is born. In fact, the great majority of surrogate babies are passed to their parents and the court grants a parental order without incident.
The Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy (COTS) organisation can give full information about surrogacy, and help you to find a surrogate mother.